


my fear pulls me out to sea

by stultiloquent



Series: Stories from Titansverse [3]
Category: Teen Titans - All Media Types, Titans (TV 2018)
Genre: (in America anyway; Dick is completely of legal drinking age elsewhere), Canon Divergence, Deception, M/M, Missing Scene, Mutual Pining, Requited Unrequited Love, Secret Identity, Underage Drinking, idk if that's the right tag but basically they're both into each other but not starting anything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-30
Updated: 2020-08-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:48:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26196652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stultiloquent/pseuds/stultiloquent
Summary: Dick quirked his lips and took a swig from his beer. He must've been tipsier than he thought - because when he looked up, he thought he saw Joey staring at him with a fond look in his eyes.
Relationships: Dick Grayson/Joseph Wilson
Series: Stories from Titansverse [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1718821
Comments: 7
Kudos: 33
Collections: Dick Grayson Rare Pair Challenge





	my fear pulls me out to sea

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for anon's ficlet request on Tumblr. The prompt was "Good Enough". 
> 
> The story is set right before Dick and Dawn come clean to Joey about their superhero ids and that they’re going after Deathstroke. Joey at this point does not know that Slade works as a mercenary. The implicit canon-divergence here is that DickDawn isn’t a thing anymore. In my head they’d just agreed to a mutual breakup after weeks of Dick becoming more and more distant trying to focus on the Mission full-time, and Dawn gets fed up waiting for him. That plus Dick realises he’s probably catching feelings elsewhere. 
> 
> Title is from "Coming of Age" by Foster the People.

Dawn once said he had a "saving people" complex. Dick always shrugged it off; it came with his night-job, after all. Besides, if he could save even just one person, why wouldn't he?

But never before had he felt so unsure and useless as he was now. With Donna still grieving and the team almost torn apart over their decision to involve Joey, Dick was finding it harder and harder to remain unbiased and lead the team the right way. Hell, he wasn't even sure if he was leading them in the right direction.

He wondered if Bruce ever had the same problem with the Justice League. He doubted it. Even if Bruce did, he was Batman. People tended to just acquiesce as soon as they saw the cape and cowl.

Dick sighed. Joey stirred besides him, tilting his head with an inquisitive look thrown his way. They were sitting on the beach again, the spot they kept finding themselves coming back to every weekend despite Dawn's insistence that they cut things off before it's too late. They were one less member tonight, Donna having elected to stay after hours at the museum, and Hank and Dawn both turned in earlier for their morning shift the next day. That left just Dick and Joey, what remained of their drinks, and the dying embers of the bonfire.

The younger boy wasn't ready to call it a night yet. He rarely was, when he went out with his new friends from the record store. 

And that's all they were to him - the guy he met at the record store, and his college friends, who hung out at the beach sometimes. It ate away at Dick, the fact that they kept lying to Joey's face, week after week. Because Joey was made of nothing but light and kindness. 

When Dick looked over, he found Joey looking at him with concern in his eyes. He signed something, and Dick had to focus on his lips to read what he's saying.

_Something bothering you?_ Joey mouthed.

Dick felt a small smile twitch on his lips. All his life, Dick has had to grapple with letting people in too close. It didn't help that it was practically one of the first lessons Bruce drilled into his head. But when Joey asked that question, it loosened something inside Dick, made Dick feel like he could just confide in Joey with no judgement at all. Perhaps it was precisely because Joey didn't know his history and the extent of who he was that allowed them this ease and comfort in each other's company.

"It's... there's a lot," Dick began tentatively. He couldn't say too much, but Joey was looking at him encouragingly. He didn't want to just push Joey away. 

"I'm helping a few friends deal with some pretty big transitions right now. I can't go into details, but it's a pretty big change. And I'm trying to be there as best as I can, lending out my couch, all of it. But it's a lot. Guess I'm just... wondering if I'm being a good enough friend."

Joey's hands wavered, his mouth opening and closing with a few false starts. Finally, he asked, _Is this about the others?_

Dick grimaced, but nodded. "Don't say anything to them, okay?" 

Joey nodded and didn't prod any further. He patted Dick on the arm and gestured as if he was zipping his mouth close. 

Dick quirked his lips and took a swig from his beer. He wasn't old enough to drink, technically, so he didn't make a habit of it. But that meant his tolerance was weak. And he must've been tipsier than he thought - because when he looked up, he thought he saw Joey staring at him with a fond look in his eyes.

_You know you are a good friend, right?_ Joey mouthed slowly, making sure Dick could catch every syllable in the lovely shape of his lips.

Dick blinked. He looked away, heat creeping up his neck. Then he felt Joey shuffle closer, and place a gentle beckoning a hand on his arm.

_You are. You're a good person._

Dick huffed slightly. "Thanks. I try... It's just, I feel like there's more I can do." He looked out towards the shore, where the stars hung low enough to almost kiss the lulling waves. The air tasted different here, but there wasn't a night Dick didn't think about Gotham, about how he could always do better. "With my dad being... who he is. How much he's done for his city. Sometimes it just feels like I'm not doing enough, you know?" 

Dick flicked his eyes back to Joey, who shook his head at him with a rueful smile.

_We aren't our dads._

Dick snorted. "No, we're not." He thought about Dawn, what she said about being Batman. "I shouldn't want to be my dad either. It's just, he has his moments. And when he's good... He's amazing."

Joey nodded. He knew a thing or two about looking up to a father that was less than perfect. He brought his hands up again, but whatever he signed was too complex for Dick to parse thoroughly. Dick only caught fragments in his lip-reading: _Dads ... work through... love ..._

Dick furrowed his eyebrows. Joey huffed and dug through his pockets. When he found what he was looking for - a pen - he grabbed Dick's arm and flipped it over. 

Dick stilled, but he could swear his heart skipped a beat. 

Then, Joey scribbled onto Dick's arm. _I think that dads have their own shit to work through too. Sometimes, they just don't show their love in ways that we can understand._

Joey's wrist flicked, and his Eye of Horus bracelet glinted against the firelight. Dick felt a pang in his chest. 

_You are good enough, and I'm sure your dad thinks so too_ , Joey continued in his scribble, heedless of the cacophony in Dick’s head.

Dick looked back up at Joey. _You are good enough_ , the boy mouthed again.

Dick wondered if Joey would still have this much faith in all of them when he inadvertently learnt the truth.

**Author's Note:**

> Here's my [Tumblr](https://stvlti.tumblr.com/), if you'd like to request something too.


End file.
